hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize