i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
