Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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