I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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