Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
