just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
