This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
