i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize