You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
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