I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
