just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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