Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
