OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
