It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Can I color on your dick again?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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