I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
