I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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