gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
