just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize