hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
3 2 1 whiskey
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
