Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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