I cockslap morals
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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