Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
