you guys were way drunker than both of me
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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