i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
