Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
