i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
