Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
it's like heaven, but drunker
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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