I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
