She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
