somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
