You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
