I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I love you.
Bad choice
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
