I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
