remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
