We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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