Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
