Welp...herpes.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
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