come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
