My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
