I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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