I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize