we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
