we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
