Joe is yelling at the trees again.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
