I wanna bring you to show and tell
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
The best revenge is premature balding
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
