She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize