the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I forget how to act sober
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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