If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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