Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
