its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
