I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
