im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
All the doctor said was why
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
