if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize