it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
