my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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