My sheets look like a crime scene.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
