just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
