I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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