your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
